for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
