he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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