Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
