you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
