How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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