He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
