Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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