just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
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its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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