dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
