i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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