What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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