..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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