How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
