And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
