so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize