Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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