help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
home. puking in laundry basket.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
