Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
