I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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