Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize