I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
