Nicole vs. Life
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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