Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
