Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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  (919): I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect http://tfl.nu/qvmo
  Replies (8) Good night (1039) Bad night (692)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.

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  (480): WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE. http://tfl.nu/0o9o
  Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (1841)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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  (573): Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/k6zp
  Replies (10) Good night (6018) Bad night (601)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.

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  (757): I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK. http://tfl.nu/aspp
  Replies (27) Good night (6269) Bad night (861)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals

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  (303): just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals http://tfl.nu/h68j
  Replies (33) Good night (8739) Bad night (1278)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  And you didn't burst into flames?

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  (339): He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church. (1-203): And you didn't burst into flames? http://tfl.nu/aa0l
  Replies (14) Good night (5310) Bad night (1013)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.

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  (678): just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game. http://tfl.nu/2q8s
  Replies (12) Good night (2821) Bad night (1615)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.

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  (702): he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome. http://tfl.nu/3i6t
  Replies (21) Good night (1054) Bad night (6808)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap

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  (732): I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap http://tfl.nu/e6wb
  Replies (4) Good night (2696) Bad night (1252)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence

  (415): View more from California

  shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.

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  (231): I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence (415): shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy. http://tfl.nu/3ya6
  Replies (12) Good night (8414) Bad night (909)
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  (925): View more from California

  This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.

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  (925): This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong. http://tfl.nu/nz0q
  Replies (16) Good night (3354) Bad night (762)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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  (907): I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year. (907): I'm going to miss going to the strip club though. http://tfl.nu/ub9e
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (542)
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  (619): View more from California

  Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.

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  (619): Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear. http://tfl.nu/20ls
  Replies (8) Good night (906) Bad night (380)
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  (858): View more from California

  So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?

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  (858): So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom? http://tfl.nu/h0sv
  Replies (13) Good night (1505) Bad night (377)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.

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  (413): I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college. http://tfl.nu/4oip
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (182)

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