In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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