I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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