thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
