White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
