WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
