If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
