you lied. pity sex is amazing.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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