I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
