Pappa wants mamma naked
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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