can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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