I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize