oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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