my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
