i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
