Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
