What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
