paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is wine microwaveable?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
