Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
