I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
