remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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