I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
