I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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