Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
