If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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