sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
