therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Randomize
