Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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