Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
