Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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