I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
