seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
