got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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