I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
