i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
