we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
