Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
