Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My penis needs a shock collar
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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