im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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