My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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