grandma shit on top of the toilet
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
