I got chris browned last night
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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