So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
