that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
