So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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