i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
