How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
