I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think my moral compass just broke
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
